The birth that helped Chelsea heal and let go of fear

A little backstory on my first two births. My daughter was born at 41+2. I was induced by having my waters broken and thrown straight into intense contractions and hard labour that I couldn't get on top of, so l opted for an epidural. I laboured for roughly nine hours and pushed and pushed, but she was posterior and got stuck on my pelvic bone. It was excruciating having her pulled out with forceps. She was 9lb 2oz and came out cut and bruised. I never really addressed the trauma from that birth, and with my second, I had so much anxiety about the pain and his size that I requested an induction on my due date and asked for an epidural immediately. That birth was a lot calmer, and he came out without any intervention.

This time, with my third and final baby, I was determined to face my trauma and design my dream birth.

I worked on myself through meditation, hypnobirthing, acupuncture, chiropractic care and exercise. I wanted to go into labour naturally and have an unmedicated birth, preferably in the bath. My midwife recommended a TENS machine, something I'd never used before, and I'm so glad she did.

Two days before my due date, I had a stretch and sweep. I felt a bit crampy, but it was inconsistent, and I convinced myself it was all in my head. I'd had multiple stretch and sweeps with my first two births and nothing had come from them, so l wasn't hopeful. On my due date, I went out for lunch, had something spicy, walked home, pumped all afternoon, and started having contractions.

They fizzled out overnight. I woke the next morning with contractions about 15 minutes apart, grabbed the TENS machine and worked through them until they faded again in the afternoon.

I had a nap and woke to more contractions, which continued into the night. The TENS machine and my hypnobirthing meditations got me through. I kept telling myself I still had a long way to go.

While the contractions were uncomfortable and sometimes painful, they were nothing like my first two births, so I figured I must still be in early labour.

Around 12:30 a.m. Friday morning, the contractions started being five minutes apart. I debated whether to go to hospital because, with the TENS machine and my breathing, they still weren't as painful as l expected. But when I noticed some spotting, I decided to go in. We left home at 12:40 for the 15-minute drive. I breathed through four or five contractions, hitting the boost button on the TENS machine during the stronger

When I arrived at emergency, they sat me down and assured me I was likely still in early labour since I was calm and able to breathe and talk through the contractions. I told myself it was going to be a long night and stayed focused on my meditation so I wouldn't spiral into fear about the pain.

Five minutes later, they checked me and told me l was already 7cm dilated. Even then, it didn't really sink in. During my previous births l'd had epidurals and just waited until I was told to push, so I didn't really understand what that meant.

I still told myself I had ages to go and kept repeating my affirmations: I can do this.

They took me to the birthing suite, and as we walked there, the contractions suddenly became one to two minutes apart. When I got into the room, Ileaned on the bed and that's when I started to spiral. I began doubting myself, fighting the urge to ask for the epidural. The contractions were so strong and close together that I felt like I was losing control, and flashbacks from my daughter's birth came flooding in.

Just as I was about to say I couldn't do it anymore, the words that came out instead were, "I need to push." Instinctively, I climbed onto the bed on all fours, and my body completely took over. Suddenly I was pushing. It was the most powerful, overwhelming and empowering feeling l've ever experienced. Three pushes later, she was here.

I was absolutely stunned that l'd done it. My TENS machine was still zapping away on boost, so l asked my husband to take it off while I held our baby, shaking with disbelief. She was born at 1:32 a.m., just 32 minutes after arriving at emergency.

It was incredible. Everything I had hoped for. This birth healed me by showing me how strong I truly am and that I could labour unmedicated. The only thing I didn't get was the bath, because there wasn't even time to fill it up.